Naruto of the Mystic Whirlpool
by The Kyudaime Kitsukage
Summary: Naruto finds out who his mother is and learns that he has a bloodline. What will Naruto do with abilities thought to be extinct and what about the small rodent that keeps calling him Aniki? Amazing how one letter can change everything. Naruto X Negima
1. The Smallest of Mistakes

A/N

Hey. It's me TKK. I hope you enjoy my first fanfiction ever. This is inspired by the anime Mahou Sensei Negima. I decided that these abilities would mesh nicely with the ninja world of Naruto and who better to give those abilities to than Naruto. That is about all I have to say except for the disclaimer.

I do not own Naruto or any other Anime for that matter. I really wish that I did. I really do.

"Hello World" Speaking

"_Hello World" Thinking, flashbacks, reading, spells and jutsu_

"**Hello World" Demonic Speaking**

"_**Hello World" Demonic Thinking**_

Chapter 1

The Smallest of Mistakes

It truly is amazing how the smallest of changes can alter everything in the end. It's amazing how the tiniest of slipups can either come back to bite you or be a blessing in disguise. When you think about it, a lot of life really comes down to luck. Every step you take could be the one where you trip over your own feet and the guy behind you either steps on you neck and kills you or perhaps the person of your dreams will end up on top of you and looking into your eyes. Luck, Destiny, and Fate are all really what you make of them but always remember that you have free will. But sometimes, it feels like something is tweaking events in a certain way to get you to do certain things. This is one of those times, where something as simple as opening a scroll upside-down can alter everything. What will Naruto do when he finds out whom his parents were and that he has a bloodline that was thought to be lost to the world?

We currently find our favorite blond hero lying in a patch of grass with the Scroll of Seals to his side. How a mere academy student, not even a genin, managed to break into the Hokage's personal vault, steal a scroll with enormous value to all of their enemies, and get out without getting caught by the 20 odd chunin, 9 jonin, and 3 or 4 ANBU that were on duty, no will ever be able to explain. The closest that anyone will every get to figuring out how this massive breach of security happened is the saying, "Pure dumb luck." But hey, people have always said that Naruto had the devil's own luck, perhaps it is some sort of retribution for his crappy lot in life, or the good karma he builds up just by not going demonic on the villagers. Kami-sama knows that the boy has every right to hate the villagers, but one can't completely blame them. It is, after all, one of the natural flaws with humanity that it fears what it does not understand and fear easily turns to hatred.

But we are getting off point. The important fact here is that Naruto is about to open the Scroll of Seals to try to learn the jutsu that will not only allow him to graduate from the academy but will also become one of his signature techniques in the future. The only problem is that somewhere during the commotion of stealing a highly classified document, sneaking past countless ninja that were guarding the scroll, and getting to the patch of forest that he was told to go to, he had managed to flip the scroll upside-down.

Naruto, sitting up from his resting position, grabs hold of the scroll and does what comes naturally from opening and closing many scrolls of varying sizes. He opened the scroll only to find that the kanji for the technique he was to learn was written strangely. Instead of opening the scroll and seeing a load of techniques, what he first saw was unintelligible and foreign kanji that he had never read before, seconds later, he realized that he was holding the scroll upside-down. Blushing a little in embarrassment from the rather elementary mistake and happy that no one was there to see him do something so completely characteristic of the dead-last that he was categorized as, he promptly flipped the scroll to read the true beginning. However, he was met with the first of a long string of surprises of that night when a letter fell out that was actually addressed to one Uzumaki Naruto. Somewhere between flabbergasted and completely confused, perhaps flabber-fused or con-gasted (?), he wondered why there was a letter addressed to him in the Forbidden Scroll. Then he had a realization, this was the _Forbidden _Scroll and if he hadn't found this letter now, he probably would have never found it. Letting curiosity get the better of him, he began to read the letter and found the second surprise of this night.

_Dear Naruto,_

_Hello, if you are reading this letter than it means that I am dead. I hope that you have been able to live a good life, but if I know people half as well as I think I do, then the likelihood of that is very low. In that case I am sorry for your life up until now and know that I deeply regret that I am leaving you alone. First and foremost, you need to know that I am your mother. _

Naruto abruptly stopped reading. He reread this part several times before feeling all hope of meeting his long lost mother die. However, as one dream died another dream had come true in that he had finally found out who his parents were. It also came with the reassuring knowledge that his parents didn't abandon him.

_My name is Uzumaki Kushina and I am the last of our clan except for you. As the last of the Uzumaki clan it falls upon your soldiers to bring our clan back to greatness and to show the world what the Uzumaki are made of._

Now that came as a shock. There was one part of him that was sad that his entire family was gone yet another was gleeful that he knew who they were at all and that he even came from a clan, a powerful and respectable clan at that.

_Also, never doubt that I love you with all of my heart and always will. I can't tell you what your father's name is because his enemies will try to hunt you down, but know that he loves you too and always will. You will always be our son and we hope to see you one day far away._

Naruto was now doing his best to hold back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. For the first time ever, someone had said that they loved him, that they cared about him, and he now knew, for the first time, that his parents didn't hate him like the people at the orphanage had told him countless times, but that they loved him. It's amazing, how much a single instance of acceptance means to someone who has never had any, even if it is from their dead parents. Naruto blinked away unshed tears and wiped the one that had managed to escape and continued reading.

_Now sochi-kun (son) _Naruto's heart felt like it wanted to fly and break at the same time after reading that. _I don't have much time before I have to leave so I will tell you about our bloodline._

Naruto had to stop reading again at this. Not only did he have parents that loved him, not only did he come from a reputable clan, but he also had a bloodline! This was starting to become overwhelming. The identity of his parents, or at least one, the knowledge that they loved him, and the fact that he has a clan with a bloodline were all revealed to him. Almost all of the major mysteries of his life were being answered by one letter that he would have never gotten if not for his fluke. The only answer the eluded him now was the reason that the entire village hated him. However he had long resigned himself to never learning the truth behind their hatred after being refused an answer every time he asked someone. Getting back on track, he kept reading.

_Our bloodline, while sounding very simple, allows us to naturally use a set of abilities that are completely unique to our clan and to be able to unlock this ability in other people using a specific ritual. Our ability is to be able to split our chakra back into the base components, mana (the mental energy) and ki (the physical energy), and wield them to do things no other ninja could do. Mana is used to launch spells of varying power and elements while ki is used to amplify and project physical attacks. Learning to do either of these takes hard work and study to master._

_In order to learn our art, below you will find two blood seals. The first is a scroll of three beginner spells that you will find useful and how to cast spells in general. The second scroll is our summoning contract with the Ermines. Let me warn you now, do not call them ferrets, many an Uzumaki has made that mistake and it never ends well. After you unseal the contract, sign your name with blood and put a hand print under it. Make these seals and put some blood and chakra into the technique: Boar, Dog, Monkey, Bird, and Sheep. Because you are my son and current heir of the Uzumaki, your first summon will be the head tutor and your future familiar, Albert Chamomile, regardless of the amount of chakra you use. Along with being the head tutor for the Uzumaki clan, he is also the leading authority for pactio and other mana powered seals. He will be your teacher in the ways of our clan._

_Naruto, my son, my time is drawing to an end, I prey for your happiness and that you get the life that you deserve. Just remember that I love you with all of my heart and so does your father._

_Lovingly yours,_

_Uzumaki Kushina _

Naruto wiped the tears that had long fallen. He broke a promise that he had made long ago and sat down and cried. The relief that there was someone who loved him even if he couldn't meet them, the sadness of knowing that he would never meet his family, the rage at knowing that he might have never found this letter, all of these emotions and more swirled around in a maelstrom of conflicting feelings. Naruto stood up while wiping his tear streaked cheeks. He looked at the scroll with a new determination and followed the instructions from his mother's letter.

He easily drew blood by pricking his thumb on his unusually sharp canines then smeared the blood across the seal for the ermine contract and repeated the process to sign the contract itself. He looked at the scroll again to memorize the five hand seals and went through them before slamming his hands into the ground. A complex seal array sprouted from his hand and covered the ground before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Sitting there in the middle of the dissipating smoke was a creature that, if he hadn't been prepared, he would have immediately called a white ferret. The entire creature was snow white except for the patch of black on the end of its tail. Its beady black eyes just somehow screamed mischief while its two whiskers and tiny arms and legs made it look more like a plush toy than a powerful and intelligent summon. From its size, it didn't look like it could overpower a common house cat.

Then it spoke. It spoke in a voice that one could only expect would come out of a creature of its size. "Hey there aniki, (big brother) my name it Albert Chamomile but you can call be Chamo," he said while pulling a cigarette out of seemingly nowhere. A better question than where did the cigarette came from was how the hell was he holding it considering his complete lack of fingers.

Writing off the details as an ermine thing, Naruto responded, "Oh, hi. My name is Uzumaki Naruto, nice to meet you."

The small creature did an ermine version of a smile before dashing up Naruto's clothes and taking a seat on his shoulder. "Aniki, I get the feeling that we are going to get along very well," he said with that same ermine smile. Then he noticed the rather large scroll that was lying across Naruto's lap. "Hey Aniki, what is that big scroll?"

Naruto pondered what he meant before remembering that he had the Forbidden Scroll of Seals across his lap and that he was supposed to learn a jutsu from it. Naruto let out a nervous chuckle while scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. "Oh, um, I kinda forgot about that. Hehehe."

Chamo fought off the urge to face plant right off his shoulder, "Well then, what is it and why do you have it?" This led to Naruto explaining the whole situation with school, graduating, Mizuki telling him about the "hidden exam" and leading right up until he summoned Chamo after reading the letter. Now Chamo, being a devious little bastard himself, instantly saw the foul play from Mizuki but decided to not tell Naruto for one simple reason. How often does a not-even-genin kid get a chance to look in the _Forbidden _Scroll of Seals? Why pass up a wonderful opportunity for a powerful technique?

Following Chamo's prompting, Naruto began to read the scroll and saw the very first jutsu on it was called _kage bushin no jutsu. _Naruto began learning the technique with the help of his tutor and familiar, Chamo. While Chamo was watching Naruto learn the technique he learned a few things about his new charge. One was that, just like every other Uzumaki out there, Naruto had ridiculous amounts of Chakra which was good because only half of it would be usable for spells and the other half physical techniques. Unfortunately, this also resulted in his chakra control being absolutely abysmal. Chamo knew that if Naruto was going to have even half-way decent chakra control anytime soon, he was going to need a staff. And not just any staff, he would need the most powerful staff in the Uzumaki clan. This was the same staff that was the weapon of the Thousand Master, the founder of the Uzumaki clan. This was the same staff that would be passed down from clan head to clan heir to help them master their special abilities. This was the same staff that was Naruto's birthright and future weapon. This was the same staff that Chamo had no idea where it was located, but that was a simple matter to correct. After seeing Naruto finally create a clone, Chamo decided that now was as good a time as any for his Aniki to summon his future staff.

"Hey, Aniki," he called, "I'm going to teach you your first spell in the Uzumaki style. It is invaluable to any Uzumaki incase they are disarmed during combat." Naruto was a sucker for any new technique to get stronger, and agreed wholeheartedly to learn this new spell. "Good Aniki. Alright, this is one of the few Uzumaki techniques that can be used without a wand or something else to focus your power and one of the simplest spells that exist. It is also one of very few spells that can be done with chakra because of how simple it is. Just repeat after me and imagine reaching out and calling something towards you. Say the words _Mea Virga_."

Naruto nodded and concentrated on his energy. He followed his familiar's instructions and said the spell.

_Mea Virga_ (My Staff)

Naruto felt a piece of his mind leave his body and travel to an unknown location. He couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't feel, but he knew where he was and he knew what was around him. He was deep within the walls of some kind of house or compound. He felt himself being guided through the dark, dank maze of the compound as he neared an exit. He found himself in open air and flew strait for Naruto's current position. The staff made its way to Naruto as he was still controlling it. The staff's sense of observation was focused on Naruto as Naruto watched his staff. It's surreal to observe oneself with a sense that they have never experienced before. It's like a blind man seeing his own reflection for the first time.

Naruto shook his head to free himself from the train of thought and grabbed the staff. It was a long wooden stick that was a little less than twice Naruto's height. It was wrapped in what looked like white bandages until the end. The end deviated from the strait line of the rest into what could only be described as the love child between a question mark and a lightning bolt. It was also at this curious ending that the bandages covering the rest of the staff separated into three separate pieces that shot out as if blown by a nonexistent wind.

"Aniki, with this staff you'll be able to access the full power of the Uzumaki bloodline, and it will help you focus your mana, ki, and chakra. Put it on your back and it will lock on automatically. Then try the _kage bushin no jutsu_ again." (Shadow clone technique)

Naruto nodded to show that he understood. He went through the hand seals for the technique and tried to summon as much chakra as when he got it to work the first time. Where the first time he barely got the clone to appear at all, this time it came far more easily and there were six more than last time. That meant that he wasted that much chakra and that his chakra control was that pathetic beforehand. No wonder he was never able to pull off a simple bushin no matter how hard he tried.

Chamo was thinking along a similar train of thought. _"Hmm, it looks like Aniki's control has gotten better like I thought it would. From what I saw before I would say that it is low genin level now. Not bad considering the chakra he would have wasted on a simple henge before could kill a normal genin." _"Aniki," Chamo shouted out loud to get Naruto attention, "Now that we have the staff, we should work on the Uzumaki techniques in the scroll that is still in the letter."

Naruto decided that Chamo hadn't led him wrong yet and quickly unsealed the last scroll. It was small scroll that was labeled, "Uzumaki Novice Scroll." Naruto laughed a little at how true that was before opening the scroll. There he found the three easiest elemental spells that existed, how they worked, and the appropriate way to channel his energy. However, before he started he realized something important. He had no idea how to control or use mana.

"Chamo, how to I actually use mana?" It was a simple question with a not-so-simple answer.

"Aniki, mana is the mental aspect of your chakra that is used to fuel your spells. For now, the only way for you to use it is to use a spell key that will allow you to split your chakra into mana and ki. The spell key that you will use will be the key that all Uzumaki use in the beginning. _Practe Bigi Nar. _After you use the spell key to access and channel your mana, you say the chant and name of the spell. The more complicated and powerful the spells, the longer the chants usually are while the beginner spells don't even need one. After you get to a certain level of skill, you can use a personalized spell key to use more mana and use larger more powerful spells but for now, the beginner key is plenty."

Once Naruto was done asking Chamo questions and felt that he understood what to do, he grabbed his staff from behind him and began chanting.

_Practe Bigi Nar Ardescat _(Practe Bigi Nar Burn)

To say that Naruto was disappointed with the result would be like saying that Orochimaru is only a little creepy. It's so understated that it's practically a lie. Naruto was expecting a stream of fire or a towering inferno. No. What he got was the equivalent of lighting a match. In fact, it would be far easier and more convenient to actually light a match. But he guessed if he ever needed a light, this spell would be useful one day. He moved on to the next one.

_Practe Bigi Nar Lux _(Practe Bigi Nar Light)

This one was slightly more impressive than the fire one. Instead of a small flame, Naruto got a medium sized orb of light that floated at the end of his staff. It also turned out that he could will the orb to move around him and make it go a couple of meters away. Naruto stopped channeling mana to the spell so he could try the last one when the small orb cracked then shattered violently. It released a blinding flash of light that stunned Naruto and Chamo. After recovering from being temporarily blinded, Naruto put that little bit of info away to use at a later date. The spell turned out to be an easy flashlight and, if needed, a flash grenade to blind enemies. He could definitely see use for that. Onto the next and final spell.

_Practe Bigi Nar Vente _(Practe Bigi Nar Breeze)

Now, from the other spells that Naruto had used, he was expecting a light breeze like the name says. He was expecting something that could maybe lift a few leaves from a tree. What he was not expecting was for a huge gale to exit his body in all direction, sending poor Chamo nearly flying through the woods and skipping along the grounds until he hit a tree. Mercifully, he was relatively unscathed if not a little dizzy. He was extremely lucky that he decided to lean the scroll against the shack he was training in front of or else his letters and the Scroll of Seals would have been blown away also. But then again, it was already stated that the boy had the devil's own luck. Ah, it seems that Chamo has made his way back into the clearing.

"Aniki, that was amazing. I have never seen a _Vente_ spell that powerful before. Your affinity for wind must be incredibly powerful," then it seemed the Chamo realized something because he made the most perverted look an ermine could possibly make, "Hey Aniki, I didn't tell you about the Uzumaki Curse did I."

Now Chamo had Naruto attention, "No you didn't. What's going to happen? I'm not going to die or grow extra limbs now am I?" he asked in a near panic.

"No Aniki, none of that will happen. The real curse on the Uzumaki is that every member has one element that they are strongest in and that element becomes their primary element. Well, that is a part of the curse; the curse is that the Uzumaki are infamous for having obscene amounts of chakra, mana, and ki. Not to mention the difficulty of trying to control three different types of energy at once. This basically means that chakra control has always been a major issue for the Uzumaki clan. To solve this problem, they came up with using staffs and wands like the one you're holding that help to regulate and control their various energies, because once an Uzumaki accesses their mana, their bodies have to regulate all three different energy sources. However, the only way that the body can keep all of these energies in check is for the body and mind to be calm and focused, but there are times when being calm simply is not possible. Some example are when one is sneezing or angry," said Chamo before he was interrupted by Naruto.

"So my clan had problems with control, but they fixed it with staffs like this one," said Naruto in confusion, "Why is this worthy of being called a curse?"

"I wasn't finished," stated Chamo before flicking Naruto with his tail for interrupting him, "When an Uzumaki loses control of their powers, random events happen. This leads to what has been affectionately coined as the Uzumaki Curse. There have been cases where powerful Uzumaki had powerful curses. One used to simple catch fire every time he went to sleep. His wife was a powerful ice specialist that would always freeze the entire room when she slept also. Everyone always knew when they did…certain activities…because they could flood an entire floor. There was once an Uzumaki that every time he burped a fireball flew out and others that could cause blackouts when they got upset," Chamo stopped speaking when he noticed that his Aniki wasn't listening anymore.

Chamo watched his face and eyes as emotions passed through. The most prominent emotions he could see were a wishful longing and sorrow to know his family. He saw the desire to get to know his family mix the new dream to create his own, he saw the sadness of knowing that he will never meet them contradict the happiness of at least knowing who they are, or were, for the first time. Then he saw the one emotion that overshadowed the rest, an adamant determination to make his parents proud and bring back his clan to its former glory. That same determination to make the world see him for who he is, Uzumaki Naruto, heir of the Uzumaki clan, holder of the Ermine contract, and future master of chakra, mana, and ki. It was at that moment that Chamo saw in Naruto the makings of the next Thousand Master.

It was to this scene that Iruka arrived and spotted Naruto in the clearing, him, staff in hand, looking like he had just found his purpose in life. This nearly caused Iruka to pause but there were matters that were much more important, namely the large valuable scroll that was leaning against the cabin. "Naruto, what the hell do you think you are doing stealing the Forbidden Scroll. Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?"

Naruto just looked at him while scratching the back of his head in embarrassment, "Hehehe, I guess you found me. I only got to learn one jutsu out of the scroll but my friend Chamo here helped me learn a lot of other stuff," he said as he held up the white ermine on the palm of his hand to show.

Iruka looked at the ermine skeptically but dismissed it as less important than the scroll, "Naruto, you've been here learning all of this time?" Upon getting a nod from the blond boy he asked another question, "Naruto, where did you get that scroll over there," he said indicating the Scroll of Seals.

Naruto gave a toothy smile to his sensei, "Oh this? Mizuki-sensei told me about this scroll and about this place too. He told me that if I showed you a skill from this scroll, I'd definitely graduate," Naruto said with that big toothy grin of his.

That was when Chamo's ears picked up the sound of air being sliced. "Aniki, dodge right NOW," he warned urgently. Something about his voice told Naruto to listen so he did as instructed and jumped the hell out of the way. Iruka, unfortunately, was so stunned by the fact that the ermine spoke that he didn't dodge the barrage of kunai that nailed him to the wall.

Mizuki appeared crouched on a nearby tree limb, "Naruto, give me the scroll," he commanded.

"No, don't give him the scroll even if you die," shouted Iruka, "That is a dangerous scroll that has forbidden ninjutsu sealed within it, and Mizuki used you in order to get his hands on it."

"Naruto, there's no point in you having it. I'll tell you the truth," Mizuki began which prompted Iruka to scream at him to not say whatever he was about to say but he continued anyway, "Naruto, you know about the demon fox being sealed twelve years ago right?" This was giving Naruto a very bad feeling and Chamo had an even worse one about where this was going. "Naruto, the truth is that you are the demon fox that killed Iruka's parents and nearly destroyed the village. You were sealed away by the very man you admire." Mizuki's voice then became quieter, like some sick corruption of calm logic, "Didn't you find it odd how everyone hated you?" A simple question that, any other time, could have easily been ignored. A simple question that was devastating for the young blond. His fingers clenched around his staff until the knuckles turned white as his anguish sent his chakra, mana, and ki haywire. His energy dragged the wind along for the ride creating his namesake. Naruto Uzumaki, a small boy in pain, was surrounded on all side by a maelstrom of gale force winds.

Chamo, having made the intelligent choice of hopping inside Naruto's shirt when Mizuki appeared, popped his head out of Naruto's collar. "Aniki, you have to calm down," he tried to tell Naruto but he was too far from the world. He was trapped in his memories, reliving his tragic past as pieces of the puzzle fit themselves together with frightening clarity. Chamo would have no choice but to hope he got through to him, "Naruto, you aren't the demon fox, you aren't the Kyuubi. Would a demon cry after reading that letter? Would a demon try to have friends? Would a demon be my Aniki? You are Uzumaki Naruto, the heir of the Uzumaki clan, sole wielder of the Mahou Uzumaki (Mystic Whirlpool) bloodline, and this village's future hokage." Just when Chamo was about to say something else, he noticed that the wall of wind around them was slowly dissipating.

Iruka and Mizuki watched the wall of wind in wonder. (A/N alliteration) They both could have sworn that they heard a voice from within the super-localized storm that was the Uzumaki, but it didn't sound like Naruto's voice and they couldn't make out what it was saying over the howling winds. Then the storm began to dissipate and both of them met a surprise when the wind and dirt finally settled. There was Naruto, holding that strange staff of his, pointed strait at Mizuki, and glowing in a bright white light. Then they heard it.

_Practe Bigi Nar Vente_

What came out of this made the gust from the first spell look like a summer breeze. Mizuki tried his best to stay attached to the tree, and in the end he succeeded in keeping his feet firmly attached to that tree. It was just too bad that the tree didn't do that good of a job keeping itself attached to the ground. Mizuki, that tree, and about half a dozen others were thrown through the air and launched away at very literal breakneck speeds. Mizuki, from what could only be described as pure unadulterated luck, managed not to be killed by the many tons of wood flying though the air along with him. However, he did not manage to avoid being pinned to the ground by the very tree he was standing on. Naruto let a small smile slip onto his face as he fell to one knee from the exhaustion of using almost all of the mana in that one attack. He heard Chamo yell his name as he crawled out of his jacket and watched over him and saw Iruka limp his way closer to him.

Iruka stopped in front of the blond boy and plopped himself down on his butt, partly out of exhaustion from getting stabbed so many times and partly so that he is at eye level with the kneeling boy. "Naruto, close your eye. There is something that I want to give you." Naruto looked skeptical seeing how Mizuki said he killed Iruka's parents not five minutes ago. However, with a little prodding from Chamo, he acquiesced to Iruka's request. When he opened his eyes though, he looked up to see that Iruka was no longer wearing his hitai-ate. He slowly reached up and touched the cool metal and traced the engraved symbol like it was a holy message in Braille. On his head was the symbol of one becoming a ninja and reaching adulthood in the village hidden in the leaves. Naruto did the only thing that he could think of; he tackled Iruka in the biggest hug he could give.

* * *

Omake (my first one, also an exhibition of Chamo's abilities)

Naruto gave a toothy smile to his sensei, "Oh this? Mizuki-sensei told me about this scroll and about this place too. He told me that if I showed you a skill from this scroll, I'd definitely graduate," Naruto said with that big toothy grin of his.

That was when Chamo's ears picked up the sound of air being sliced. Chamo suddenly jumped from Naruto's shoulder and cast a spell.

_Camo magi camo magister, Reflexio. _(Chamo's personal spell key, Reflection)

In front of Chamo appeared a large spinning disk of ice that blocked and deflected the barrage of kunai. Both Iruka and Mizuki had the same WTF look on their faces at seeing Chamo use what they thought was a jutsu. But the small ermine wasn't done yet.

_Frigerans Exarmatio _(freezing disarmament)

Mizuki saw the blast of icy wind coming towards him but didn't have time to dodge. He tried to protect himself as best he could as what he thought was a jutsu was soon upon him. The first thing that the spell did was blow away all of his fuuma shuriken and his weapons pouch. He opened his eyes only to see his sleeves were freezing over before quickly shattering. Soon his entire sleeve was gone but the spell didn't end, it kept going and going until Mizuki was stripped of all of his clothes.

Mizuki was left covering himself as well as he could while Iruka was pointedly looking anywhere but at him. Naruto cocked his head to the side in a show of confusion before turning to Iruka. "Iruka-sensei, isn't that supposed to be bigger?"

Poor Iruka couldn't even sputter a response while Mizuki turned red in either embarrassment or anger; it was hard to tell. "Your damn ferret just hit me with a blast of cold, it's not usually like that," yelled the traitor in his defense.

"Sure it isn't," came an unconvinced reply from behind Mizuki. He had just enough time to widen his eyes in surprise before being knocked unconscious and falling out of the tree. Chamo landed daintily on the back of his head, before looking at the other two and saying "Well that was easy."

Iruka looked like his brain was having a meltdown. He then heard the distinct sound of a puff of smoke to his right and saw Naruto with seven different clones. "So Iruka-sensei," they all spoke in tandem, "do I get to graduate now? Iruka-sensei? Iruka-sensei! Chamo, he fainted."

* * *

Well, that was the first chapter of Naruto of the Mystic Whirlpool. I really like the Negima series and it just works with Naruto. Also, I know that I am a new writer but please give a review. Complements are appreciated as are constructive criticism. If there is a large hole in the plot that I didn't see, tell me so I can fix it. Also, if anyone knows of a good English to Latin translator I would appreciate it.

Go ahead and write a review.


	2. Training, Team Placement, Introductions

A/N

Yo. This is chapter number 2. I hope that you enjoyed chapter 1 and will enjoy this one also. If any of you don't know what Mahou Sensei Negima is, I would definitely recommend seeing it. It is one of the funniest series that I have seen with liberal amounts of fan service. Also, sorry it took so long to get this through, I've had it written for several days now and I just kept procrastinating on the editing. I finally sat down and got this (along with several days of back homework) done with.

Alright I guess that it is time for the disclaimer. I do not own Naruto or Negima or any characters associated with them. If I did the first thing I would do is replace Sakura with…really almost anyone else. Hell some civilian were probably stronger than her.

SetsunaG: Thank you for all of the tips and for being my first reviewer, they are all much appreciated. As for the Kushina being a Kyuubi container, I have no idea about that as it has been quite a while since I read ahead in the manga. But I am working off the idea that Naruto is the first and only container of the Kyuubi. Further details will be given a few chapters later.

Fg7dragon and Nana-chan753: Thank you for the Latin translators. You have no idea how much research it takes to figure out these spells and it is because of you that I managed to get this out so early.

The First Kitsukage: It's just great that you're actually reading this. Great name by the way.

Fan of Fanfics21: Don't worry, the Negima sneeze will live on in Naruto. Although I don't have the assistance of 31 different girls to pull shenanigans with, I'll definitely find the time.

I recently updated my profile and picture so that there is something there and if you are wondering what Naruto sounds like when he is chanting; there is a link in there to let you hear it. And I know that you're all wondering what the pairing is going to be. I have decided that it is to be a small harem of about 3 or 4. The chaos I have planned, I'm giddy just thinking about it. I won't reveal those in the harem yet as they will come when the story permits, but you won't be disappointed. Also, I'm thinking about changing the category to just Naruto until I introduce more Negima characters. That's it, let the story roll.

"Hello World" Speaking

"_Hello World" Thinking, flashbacks, reading, spells and jutsu_

"**Hello World" Demonic Speaking**

"_**Hello World" Demonic Thinking**_

Chapter 2

Training, Team Placement, Introductions and…gesundheit?

We find Naruto in his apartment the day after the Mizuki incident. He is rather merrily resting in slumber. Dreams of ramen and being hokage fill his head as it rests gently on the pillow. His spiky blond hair, as completely unmanageable as usual, completely defies gravity by refusing to even sag in its direction. All is calm in the village outside of his window as the vendors and the merchants set up their shops to begin a day of profitable business. You can see the sun rising above the clouds and hokage monument to nourish the various plants in Naruto's apartment as they sit patiently for their caretaker to water and love them. All is calm and right with the early morning world.

"HEY. ANIKI. WAKE UP!" Well, all _was_ calm and right in Naruto's world. Naruto was thrown from his dream world, both literally and metaphorically, and fell out of his own bed. Naruto, now looking like a tangle orange sheets, blond hair that looks like it was kissed by the sun, and his white t-shirt, fights his restraints. He finally wrestled his way out of the sheets and shot a scathing glare at the small white ermine. Chamo gave him an apologetic smile as he at least had the decency to look sheepish.

Naruto looked out of his window and gave a small sigh to the world. He still had the rest of the week before the team placement meeting among the graduates, and he had no idea how he is going to spend it. Luckily Chamo, as if reading his thoughts, gave him the perfect idea to use the time effectively, training. He had still yet to learn any ki attacks and could only be considered a novice with his mana and chakra. He was a novice with a kick-ass staff that can blow you away like a hurricane, but a novice all the same.

Chamo stood in front of Naruto, now in tutor mode. That's the mode that usually ends up with an incredibly longwinded speech about why something works, how you are supposed to do it, and what it is. Oh if only Naruto knew how rights he was about that sentiment.

"Aniki, last night because of the incident with the white haired traitor, we never got to teach you any ki attacks. Now these attacks are quite different from your mana spells in that they are all physical in nature and ki is used to enhance or launch your attack at a distant target. After you master a single ki attack with a weapon, most likely your staff or fist, you will learn the branching ki modifiers. Ame (rain) will be used to split an attack into several weaker versions of the original attack and launch them. However, they will all still aim for the same point. It is primarily used to confuse a target and make it harder to block. Kiri (mist) uses your ki to turn the attack into a feint or illusion. This is used to unbalance an opponent and open up holes in their defense. Rai (lightning) will be used by adding the absolute maximum amount of ki into an attack to make it several times more powerful and deadly. The downside of this is that it is very draining on your ki to use and easy to dodge. Kaze (wind) will be used to launch attacks that would usually be up close. Additionally, they can be launched for quite a long distance. The downside to this ki modifier is that the longer the distance, the weaker the attack becomes."

Naruto nodded, absorbing as much of the information as he could understand. Really when Chamo told him about ki he thought that it would just make him hit harder, but he could see how using this energy could make a style many times more deadly and confusing. If someone mastered the use of ki, they would have enough tricks to give any taijutus or kenjutsu master a run for their money. As Naruto let that thought run through his head, he was so excited that he was practically jumping up and down in anticipation of learning such cool attacks. In fact, he actually was jumping up and down. "Chamo, when do I get to learn how to use ki attacks?" he asked with all of the excitement of a boy that would receive a new toy.

"Well Aniki, you first have to learn how to channel and use the ki itself. And there are only two way to do this. The first is through meditation so that you can find your ki and bring it to the surface the same way you did with Chakra." Naruto remembered that exercise and how much he hated it. It took him nearly a month to unlock his chakra because not only did the teachers not help him at all, but some of them explicitly sabotaged him by lying to him about the process. It was only pure luck and his insane chakra levels that allowed him to get the breakthrough that he had. Whatever option two was, he was taking it. "And option two for unlocking ki is to exhaust almost all of your mana and draw on what's left by using your normal chakra summoning methods. What will be left will be almost all ki. Then you just memorize that feeling and practice drawing it again. This process takes anywhere from 5-13 days." Now that sounded like the way to go to Naruto. Not only was it much faster, but he would be active while doing it and wouldn't have to sit still for long periods of time.

Chamo, having known Naruto for less than twelve hours, could already tell that he was going to pick option two as almost every other Uzumaki did. That was why he already knew that next question that Naruto was going to ask and had prepared his answer the previous night while he was resting from his battle. "Ano…Chamo. How do I drain that much mana? The only spell I have that could drain that much power quickly would get me in a lot of trouble." Chamo had the ermine version of a smirk on his face; really the boy was definitely an Uzumaki.

"That's why I am going to teach you two useful spells that don't require an incantation or a spell key. The first one is the mana barrier and the second is flight." Naruto's eyes nearly bulged right out of his head; he would be able to fly? As far as he knew, not even old man hokage knew how to fly. "Alone, neither of them is very draining and they are as easy to learn as the beginner spells. However, together, they make an excellent mana control exercise. Even novice Uzumaki can learn how to fly if they have a staff, broom, or something else to focus their mana into and sit on, but it takes a truly skilled Uzumaki to learn how to fly without using one. The secret to doing this is to first create a mana barrier strong enough to stop physical attacks then you have to maintain that barrier while feeding more mana into it to will it to rise with you inside. This skill was the hall mark of true Uzumaki elite."

Chamo finally exited tutor mode and crawled up Naruto's jacket again. As Naruto's mind tried to assimilate all of the new information, he simply followed Chamo's instructions to his favorite training ground. It was a fairly unused one on the outer reaches of the village, nice out-of-the-way place to practice his new secret clan techniques.

Naruto looked around the training area for a while to make sure that no one was following or spying on him and when he felt satisfied that he was indeed alone, he closed his eyes and focused on the mana aspect of his chakra. In himself he could feel three energies with different "feels" to them. One felt like it had a pounding beat to it, something reminiscent of a blacksmith pounding metal into a sharp weapon. This energy he assumed was his ki. The next in the series felt like it was cool and orderly, while at the same time being free and random. It was like a perfect square was zipping around hopped up on caffeine. He figured that this one was his mana. Then there was the last energy that he could feel. The first two felt like they branched off of it like two halves of a zipper so he guessed that it was his chakra. The only words he could think to explain its feel were completeness, balance, and life. Naruto opened his eyes and found that the sun had moved about a thumb's width. He'd been out for quite a while, he surmised.

Chamo on the other hand had been watching Naruto closely as he tried to search for his mana, and what he saw pleased him to no end. What took other members of the clan weeks to visualize and draw out, he saw Naruto do in mere hours. He could feel as Naruto unconsciously drew upon his ki, then his mana, and finally both in the form of chakra. Naruto had just advanced at a _prodigy_ like level. Yet from what he had been told, Naruto was the dead last of his class. This brought a dark look over the ermine that looked completely misplaced on the brightly colored creature. Either every single student in the academy was a genius beyond comparison with the previous generations, or much more likely, especially considering his burden, the academy teachers had purposefully rigged everything against Naruto to make him fail. Hell, if the second was half true then he would have had to be a genius or damn lucky just to pass at all. He thought back to the days when he had tutored the late Kushina, who would be clan head if there was a clan to be head of. Naruto was definitely his mother's son.

Chamo decided that this was a matter to dwell on at a different time. Right now, he had a student that was eager and able to learn. And he was going to teach everything he could. "Aniki, it seems that you accidentally went through the first part of the mediation method. While it won't unlock your ki unless you do it constantly for about a week, it will help immensely in your mana exercises. Now, try to remember what your mana felt like, and then command that feeling to cover your whole body and bring it forth." Naruto followed Chamo's instructions as best as he could. It took about 10 minutes but he finally felt the mana beginning to wash over his body. He felt a calm, cool feeling that was not unlike being immersed in water from the inside out. "Good Aniki, you just summoned your mana without the assistance of a spell key, now command your mana into the staff and levitate it."

Naruto tried to follow Chamo's instruction and after about eighty minutes of trying finally got the staff to levitate. He also found that manipulating the staff was the same as moving the small ball of light from the _lux _spell. The next step seemed self explanatory. He hopped on his staff and straddled it like a witch does a broom. He willed the staff to rise and found that the staff pushed on his body to make him rise as well. He slowly floated one foot off the ground, then two, then three. Finally he just said screw it and skyrocketed into the afternoon sky with Chamo safely tucked inside his jacket. It might go without saying, but the rest of the day was forfeited to the new freedom and experience of flight.

The next day, we see our favorite blond hero already at the training grounds and perfecting calling on the minimum amount of mana required for flight. Unsurprisingly, the ability to fly really cuts down on the travel time to other locations. He took several hours to make sure that he could take flight as soon as he touches his staff, even if Naruto didn't understand why Chamo wanted to stress that need so much. They then continued with their training from yesterday. Chamo explained that the mana barrier was basically the mana the escaped from the body when in use and that the only way to strengthen it was to be able to draw more mana. Naruto didn't have to concentrate on it as it was practically automatic and, luckily for him, the mana required to fly was more than enough for a barrier capable of weakening strong blows. It still wasn't strong enough for the flight exercise or to even stop senbon, but it was enough to turn a punch that would break a rib into a hairline fracture. This is why Naruto spent the entire day learning to draw on more and more of his mana without the use of his spell key. At the end of the day, the barrier still wasn't strong enough for the flight exercise but it could now slow senbon to being a pinprick instead of sliding through his flesh. Kunai and shuriken however would still cut into him, even if it was with less force than without the barrier.

The next day, Chamo made Naruto practice bringing up his barrier without his spell key until he deemed it worthy of being ready. Naruto's mana barrier without the spell key could now completely stop thrown senbon, thrown shuriken would be slowed enough so that they equated to a light maiming, much like a pissed off cat, instead of being pierced by metal. Kunai however would still puncture his flesh by about an inch. Also, a punch that would normally break three ribs would only bruise his ribs.

On a side note. Chamo, through means that he never explained to Naruto, actually had these weapons. Even stranger, he was adept at hurling them at Naruto's non-vital spots to test the barrier. A fact that still baffled Naruto considering the small ermine had no discernable fingers. As for how is this small creature able to test physical blows that would break ribs on normal people, that is explained by his tail. Chamo, rather unlike most ermine, has a tail that is easily the length of his entire body, plus some. And this tail, again rather unlike most ermine, has a girth that is about half of the width of Chamo's entire body. One could easily wager that his long, practically prehensile, tail could be more than 25% of Chamo's total mass. Also know that Chamo is the head tutor of the entire ermine summoning species. He is not the boss ermine as he has no where near the size. He did, however, earn his place as head tutor by being a master at the basics and using them in amazing ways. One of those basics is what he is teaching Naruto now, controlling ki energy. And Chamo's favorite place to channel said energy is to his very long tail. A tail that could leave a nasty bruise when not enhanced and rip a chunk of wood out a tree at full power. Although almost no one would believe it, between his advanced mana barrier training, the knowledge of countless low level spells along with one or two of high level, and his ki enhanced tail swipes, Chamo could take down most chunin.

Back to the topic of training, on the fourth day, Chamo was having Naruto try to levitate his own barrier. The mechanics of which were so incredibly complicated that Chamo decided that it would save more time and effort to just say, "Go for it, Aniki." Chamo didn't expect Naruto to get this anytime soon. It took prodigies weeks to get this down and any normal Uzumaki months. But the ability to fly was not what Chamo wanted Naruto to get; he could summon his staff and be ready to fly in an instant for that. He wanted Naruto to try to control his mana well enough to manipulate the barrier around him. A feat that is an incredibly difficult and efficient mana control exercise. Not only that, but it was incredibly exhausting on the mana reserves. This was a fact that Naruto learned himself when he found that he was completely drained after just half an hour.

"Great job Aniki. We finally managed drain you of all of the mana and we managed to increase your control at the same time. Now, just try to call on your chakra like normal and you should feel the difference," explained the white ermine with what looked like a proud smile at his Aniki. Naruto nodded his understanding and attempted to call upon his chakra. Instead of the warming embrace of life that he expected, he was met by the pulsing energy that reminded him of a blacksmith striking iron. He followed Chamo's coaching about how this energy was completely physical so it won't respond to the mind willing it to work. It would respond to his body using energy and actively flow there to supplement it. Naruto looked at his hand and tried to make the energy travel there but it refused to bulge. He decided to try raising his hand into a fist and he found it was a glowing golden color. Naruto relaxed his hand and watched as the energy dissipated. He repeated the process just to make sure it wasn't a fluke then punched the ground with his still glowing hand. Where normally he would have made a small fist shaped indent in the soft dirt, there was a small crater about the size of his head.

"Wow," Naruto said looking at his hand in wonder, "So that's what ki does. That's amazing Chamo."

Chamo nodded his head sagely as if he found the answers to the universe, "Yes, ki energy is rather impressive the first time you use it. Now that you have managed to use it for the first time, we are going to spend the rest of the day teaching you to channel ki into various parts of your body and using it for different physical activities." And Chamo wasn't lying because he worked Naruto into the ground by having him quickly channel ki to punch an unfortunate training dummy to splinters. Then they worked on kicks and using it for jumping. By the time that Naruto got home, he was damn near exhausted of both his ki and his mana. The next day, they repeated the process but it was much harder to access his ki energy when he still had his mana. It took nearly five minutes just to manage a simple punch; that is far too long in a ninja battle. In all honestly, five seconds is too long. So for the rest of this day, Naruto was pounded into the grounds ruthlessly. At the end, he still didn't have it quite down but he had managed to shave the time down to 17 seconds for a ki enhanced punch. Apparently, that wasn't good enough because on the sixth day, Chamo still had him punching and kicking until channeling and using ki came as quickly as the punches themselves. It was around two or three in the afternoon when Chamo decided that he had reached a satisfactory level.

"Aniki, you've performed better than I expected and we finished early today, so you have two options," Chamo said even though he knew without a doubt which one Naruto would choose, "Option one is to rest up for the remainder of the day so you can be ready tomorrow at the team placement since something might happen. Option two is that I teach you the _kaze: panchi _(wind: punch)_. _This is the easiest of the ki techniques to learn but also the hardest to master. You will use your ki energy to power up a punch but instead of punching an object like normal, you will launch you punch for a distance. Like all of the kaze branch ki techniques, the longer the distance, the less powerful the attack will be. So aniki, what do you say?"

As if he even had to ask, but it is good policy to give the one being taught a choice or at the very least, let him feel like he has one. Naruto was up and eager to learn a new technique just as Chamo expected. "Alright Aniki, all that you have to do is gather ki like you have been and punch like you are attacking the air. The success of launching the attack is based entirely on how fast your punch is moving and how fast you stop it. If you need to, you can use some ki to speed up the punch. If your punch was fast enough, the ki you gathered will leave your hand in the shape of your fist and attack whatever it hits just like a regular ki enhanced punch."

It didn't take long at all for Naruto to be able to launch his first _kaze: panchi. _It seemed that the hell like training that Chamo put him through for the last few days had enhanced the speed of his punch to the point that it was fast enough to launch without enhancement. It did, however, take Naruto until nearly midnight to actually be able to aim the attacks at anything. The slightest twitch, hiccup, or mistake when launching the attack could send it a millimeter off course or five feet (1.5 meters) off course. Naruto had just managed to get ten hits in a row in a target about twenty feet (6 meters) away when Chamo said to call it a night and that he had done well.

On the next day, we find our favorite blond walking towards the academy while having a comfortable conversation with Chamo on his shoulder about his future study schedule, accounting for things that his jonin sensei would teach him of course. He entered the classroom completely unaware of the incredulous looks that he is getting from the class. Either for the fact that he made it when they could have sworn that he failed a week ago or perhaps the fact that he was having a conversation with what looked like a white ferret. Even though they couldn't hear the ferret because he was right next to Naruto's ear and thus didn't need to speak loudly at all, they could easily make out Naruto's end of the conversation. Said conversation had somehow been steered to girls since Chamo revealed to him the existence of pactio last night, and they were still discussing its uses. That was a conversation that Naruto wished that he could forget, but he knew his life changed for the better because of it.

Furasshubakku no jutsu (flashback, yay my first one)

Naruto and Chamo had just gotten relaxed in Naruto's bed in preparation to go to sleep. Naruto was searching around for the extra pillow that Chamo liked to sleep on when said ermine asked a question. "Hey Aniki, what's going to happen tomorrow?"

Naruto thought about it for a second before answering as much as he knew, "Tomorrow, we will go to the classroom to get out team placement assignments. We will probably be waiting for a while because I've heard kids in earlier years complaining about that."

Chamo thought about that information and tried to extract anything useful from it. It seemed that the kids had no idea who their teammates were going to be or any influence in who they could choose. He still needed more information though, "Aniki, do you know anything about what the teams are usually like? Like a pattern you might have seen before."

This required Naruto to pause and think again. From what he had seen when his past teammates had graduated and bragged about being genin before mysteriously ending up back in class, there were two things that he could guess. "Um…I think so. The only things that I can guess at are that the teams are usually two boys and one girl unless enough don't graduate. They also try to put the highest scoring boy and girl with the lowest scoring student. I think that is to balance things out."

Chamo nodded his head slowly. Now that was information that he could use. He then asked, "Naruto, do you know who the highest scoring and lowest scoring people are?" When Chamo saw Naruto's head drop he cursed himself for forgetting that Naruto was the "dead last" of the class.

Naruto offered a halfhearted smile before responding, "I have the lowest score in the class while the one with the highest is Sasuke-teme. The highest scoring girl is…" his sad smile turned into an ecstatic grin in an instant, "That mean that I get to be on a team with Sakura-chan, YATTA," he screamed in celebration and proceeded with his own personal victory dance.

Chamo smiled at seeing his Aniki in a better mood now. "So that means that you like this Sakura girl?" he asked in an oh-so-innocent manner, "tell me a little about her."

Naruto was excited as a child describing a toy that they wanted as he spoke, "Oh, I've liked Sakura-chan ever since I first saw her. She's really pretty." Chamo looked at him as if waiting for the rest of the sentence. When it became obvious that was it, Chamo's smile turned to a frown. "What?" Naruto asked, feeling a little defensive.

Chamo stared directly at Naruto with an examining gaze, "You said that she's pretty Aniki," he said in a slow, suspicious voice, "Is she nice?" Chamo watched as Naruto's face passed from confused to pensive to downtrodden. Naruto shook his to indicate the negative answer. "Is she fun to be around?" Naruto again had to shake his head, no. "Is she strong or powerful?" Naruto thought about that but he knew that the only reason that she was rated the top kunoichi was because of her test scores. "Do you know anything about her other than her name; favorite books, foods, hobbies, anything?" Naruto again answered with a shake of his head. "Is she even interested in you, or at least friendly?" Naruto head hung low as that answer was painfully obvious. If hitting each other over the head was friendly, he didn't want any friends. "Does she have one redeeming quality that you can think of besides she's pretty?"

Naruto was about to give up when he finally thought of something, "She's really smart. She aces her test all the time." He finally found someway to defend his crush. Or at least that was what he thought before he heard Chamo sigh.

"Aniki," Chamo began to make sure that he had Naruto's total attention for this, "Smart doesn't count. Everyone has something that they are "smart" in. Even people that most others would call 'dumb as a doorknob' often have a hidden skill that they are a genius in."

Chamo gazed Naruto in the eyes with a look the displayed his wisdom and position of head tutor, a look that didn't seem right on such a small and usually carefree animal. "Naruto…you don't love this girl. You probably don't even like her. You are infatuated with her. In your longing for her attention, you most likely made a mental image of this perfect girl and placed it on a pedestal while ignoring all of the signs that she isn't what you think she is."

Chamo jumped from the bed and onto Naruto's shoulder before flicking Naruto with his tail to keep his attention. "The girl you described doesn't sound like a good ninja. She doesn't even sound like a good person. Think long and hard about what you think she is like and whether or not her behavior matches that. If not, then she is definitely not pactio worthy."

Naruto took that advice to heart before something from Chamo's last sentence caught his attention. "What's a pactio?"

Chamo switched to tutor mode with slightly disturbing speed, "A pactio is a contract between an Uzumaki and a person from outside the clan. It will allow another person access to some of your mana and ki for a speed and jutsu boost. It will also come with an outfit change and a special weapon with mystical abilities. The mysteries behind the workings of the pactio process have long been lost to the clan since the Thousand Master disappeared long ago but it is a powerful ability that only the Uzumaki can give. Because of your age, you would only be able to enter a probationary contract with someone by kissing your partner in a special sealing circle. Whenever you're ready, I'll draw the sealing circle and invoke the pactio spell." Chamo yawned and decided that was enough talking about pactio for one day and jumped onto his sleeping pillow. "Now go to sleep Aniki, we have a long day tomorrow."

Furasshubakku no jutsu, Kai. (end flashback)

Naruto had thought long and hard about Chamo's words and thought about just how Sakura treated him. He was surprised at the repressed anger he found built up from constantly being insulted, maimed, and yelled at. They always say that there was a thin line between love and hate. If only they knew how right they were.

As Naruto was reliving the memory of the previous night, he completely missed most of what Chamo said and unknowingly agreed to things that would come back to bite him later. Soon, Naruto's discussion with Chamo was interrupted by an obnoxious voice, "Hey dead last. What are you doing here? This meeting is only for people who graduated. And what the hell is with the ferret on your shoulder. He looks like he'll make a nice snack for Akamaru," Kiba said with a cocky grin on his face.

Naruto turned slowly and looked at Kiba with only the corner of his eye, "First of all, this forehead protector on my head means that I did graduate. Second, Chamo would _destroy_ your puppy. And third, don't call him a ferret, he's an ermine." Chamo decided not to add anything since Naruto already got his point for him. Naruto and Chamo continued their conversation while Kiba left in a huff. They both continued to talk about other random matters until Sakura and Ino came bursting though the door. They then proceeded to argue about who would get the seat next to Sasuke, the seat that Naruto already occupied.

Then they both came over and began yelling at Naruto, "Naruto-baka, get up so I can sit next to Sasuke-kun," Sakura yelled at the blond boy.

It was after Sakura yelled that Chamo whispered a question in Naruto's ear, "Aniki, who is that?"

Naruto decided that answering Chamo's question took precedence over Sakura's demand even if he didn't realize is consciously, "Oh, that's Sakura. She the girl I was telling you about before…," a pause was heard as Chamo asked Naruto another question, "…what's that question supposed to mean? Of course she's a girl."

It was at this point that Sakura first noticed the small ermine that apparently held Naruto's attention. Said ermine was also staring strait at Sakura as if examining her. No one likes being examined like that. It makes a person relive every single flaw they know about themselves and wonder of the examiner noticed them or not. Even worse, what of the examiner noticed a flaw that the person didn't know about themselves? Then the ermine turned his attention to look over every single person in the entire room then back to the blond and whispered something else in Naruto's ear.

"Oh come on Chamo, she isn't the least attractive girl in the entire room." Sakura was actually seeing red as she zeroed in on the mutant weasel as he whispered something else in his owner's ear. "Well, I guess when you put it like that then you're right…," another pause for whispering, "Hehehe, Chamo there has to be something there right?"

Several of the girls were blushing red as their thoughts went along their own tracks. Several of the boys were actually nodding halfway through the conversation before having to restrain their laughter at the last comment. Sakura however was barely thinking at the point in her rage. The only thought on her mind was to strangle that tiny white weasel. And that was exactly what she planned to do as she reached her hand out grab the weasel by the tail. Well she would have grabbed it, if it hadn't used its tail to slap her hand away like it was nothing. She tried again only to get the same result. Then again and again and again before finally, she just lunged for the cursed weasel.

What happened next could only be described as Sakura having the ever-living crap beaten out of her by a rodent without it even batting an eye. The damn thing didn't even look up or interrupt its conversation with Naruto. Every single time that Sakura tried anything to attack the evil weasel, its tail would simple bat the attack away like she was barely worth the effort. She even tried using a kunai but the tail caught her hand by the wrist and simply threw her, not her hand, not her arm, but her entire body almost halfway across the room where she still lay unconscious with her mouth frozen shut. Did I forget to mention that Chamo is a powerful ice specialist?

Over at the Hokage tower, the future jonin of this year's class were watching the spectacle of Sakura, the top scoring kunoichi of the year, being completely outclassed by a rodent in three minutes flat. The hokage was fighting hard to suppress the smirk that wanted desperately to worm itself on his face. It was amusing to see the daughter of his least favorite council member being humiliated like that. His son, Sarutobi Asuma, was outright laughing at the poor girl's misfortune, having no qualms about showing his mirth. Kurenai was stuck somewhere between being ashamed for all kunoichi everywhere that this was the best one of the class and laughing at the amusing image of such a one-sided fight.

Kakashi was trying to figure out what was with his future team. From what he read in their profiles, Naruto had a huge crush on the rosette girl. Yet what he just saw was practically the opposite. Not only did Naruto not even try to defend the girl but he even agreed to whatever that rodent said. And then Naruto didn't even so much as turn his head as his pet completely demolished Sakura with what looked like little effort. He had a feeling that the rodent probably had a hand in breaking Naruto of his crush on the girl, but to completely ignore the girl to such a point indicated some form of malice. Then again, who wouldn't hold some malice for a girl that used to give him brain dusters on a daily bases. He was sure that the teamwork issues would work themselves out and if not then the ferret would be a fine replacement for Sakura.

Meanwhile, Sakura had finally regained both consciousness and a thawed tongue before she stalked up to Naruto. Having realized that physically attacking them would be foolish, she went with what she does best, "Naruto-baka, teach your stupid ferret a lesson not to harm a lady!" she yelled at the young blond in a voice normally reserved for banshees.

This prompted Chamo to ask what lady had he harmed and for Naruto to laugh quietly at the joke before responding to Sakura for the first time that day, "Sakura, he is an ermine, not a ferret." That was end of his response before continuing with his conversation with Chamo.

Sakura however wasn't going to let it end like that after being so thoroughly humiliated, "Listen Naruto-baka. I don't care if that beast is an ermine, a ferret, a weasel, or a rat. You had better make it up to me before I knock you into next week. Now you better apol…" that was as far as she got before Chamo decided that he was tired of her loud voice and used his tail to tickle Naruto's nose, which caused Naruto to sneeze.

What he expected was for the Uzumaki curse to kick in when he sneezed and for her to be blown away. What he got instead when Naruto sneezed was a wind so sharp that it ripped the clothes right off of Sakura's body, leaving her nude except for her lacy pink training bra and panties. The screams of a pink haired banshee were heard all the way from the academy to the Hokage Tower.

And imagine that, Iruka chose that very moment to walk into his classroom and find a very nude Sakura covering as much of her person as she could. She was standing in front of a very embarrassed Naruto who looked as shocked as Sakura at the events. But the strangest thing was the small ermine that was doing a victory dance on Naruto's desk. Then everyone in the classroom heard a voice they weren't familiar with, "You're right Aniki. She is a girl!" That was the final straw. Every boy that was fighting to hold back their chuckles simple burst out laughing, a few actually falling out of their seats in their mirth. All of girls blushed varying shades of red while one poor pale-eyed girl actually fainted.

Iruka enjoyed the chaos that seemed to follow his favorite student for a moment before calling for order, only to be completely ignored by his students. He tried again and got the same result. It was time to pull out the big guns, "SHUT THE HELL UP AND PAY ATTENTION!" yelled a rather irritated Iruka with his head several times the normal size. Now that grabs a class's attention. After they all quieted down, he began the calling of the teams.

"…Team 7 will be Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura …" Naruto banged his head against the desk as he let out a rather vivid curse, "…and Uchiha Sasuke." The words that came out of Naruto's mouth after that statement would have made even a certain sound kunoichi blush bright red. "Team 8 will be Hyuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, and Aburame Shino. Team 9 is still in circulation. Team 10 is Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, and Akamichi Choji…" the rest of the names are unimportant as they are going to fail anyway, "Okay students, go have lunch and your jonin sensei will be here in an hour."

Those were the words that Naruto had heard _three hours _ago and he and his teammates were still waiting for their sensei. Naruto was trying to remember the merits of becoming a ninja when Chamo jumped off his shoulder and traveled to the board in the front of the room. Naruto watched curiously as Chamo took the eraser from the board and propped it on top of the door before he let a toothy grin reach his face and joined his familiar is setting up similar traps for their sensei. Sakura was berating Naruto for trying to prank a jonin while being ignored by both of her teammates, when their sensei opened the door and a small eraser fell on his head. That was followed by a second eraser that had been launched as soon as he opened the door, and with a quick and near silent chant, his hair was set on fire with an _Ardescat _spell.

Now Kakashi, as a jonin, had easily spotted the eraser that was on top of the door and let that fall on his head just to humor the kids. Then there was the second eraser that he didn't see as it was flung from a blind spot but he heard it long before it hit and allowed it to hit him. What he didn't expect was for his hair to suddenly catch fire. For a jonin, that is not only worrying in the fact that he didn't see it coming but that it could have been a much more powerful flame and been aimed at a much more valuable location than his hair. Going though the process for a quick water jutsu for put out his now singed hair, he took this opportunity to glare at the Uchiha as he was the only one in the room that knew fire jutsu as far as he knew. And he wouldn't be wrong as Naruto's new abilities were not jutsu. "My first impression of you guys is…I hate you. Meet me on the roof." With that said, he was gone in a poof of smoke.

It didn't take long for them to get to the roof and now they found themselves staring at their incredibly strange teacher, "Okay guys, the first thing we'll do is some introductions," said the silver-haired scarecrow.

Sakura raised her hand, "Sensei, couldn't you go first so we have an idea of how to do it?" asked the rosette girl.

"Oh…me?" he said as if surprised that he actually had to put in the effort, "My name is Hatake Kakashi, I have no desire to tell you guys about my likes and dislikes, dreams for the future…? Hmm… well I have lots of hobbies." The rest of the students nearly face planted when they realized that he had only told them his name. "Alright, you're next blondy."

Naruto nodded along with the ermine on his shoulder, "My name is Uzumaki Naruto, My likes are Ramen and Chamo here," he said while indicating the ermine with a movement of his head, "My dislikes are the three minutes is takes for ramen to cook and ignorant people who judge others before getting to know them. My dream for the future is to revive my clan and bring them back to greatness." That one shocked all present as they didn't know that he even came from a clan. "My hobbies are training and talking with Chamo," he again indicated the white ermine, "and pulling pranks on people that I don't like."

At this point, Kakashi was wondering if he should just throw the file he had on Naruto into the garbage. It had given him almost no accurate knowledge on the blond yet as he seemed to change who he was in a mere week, a feat that shouldn't be possible. He decided to ponder on that later as he called the next student, "Alright… next."

That was when Kakashi had nearly had a heart attack as the ermine in Naruto's shoulder spoke up before the Haruno had a chance. "Hello, my name is Chamomile Albert." Luckily Sasuke and Sakura already knew that the thing could talk from the fiasco that happened in class earlier. Said fiasco would be forever known only as the Sneeze Incident. "My likes are flavored cigarettes and my Aniki. My dislikes are people who call me a ferret when I am obviously an ermine and those who hurt my Aniki," he said giving a pointed glare as Sakura and confirming Kakashi's suspicion about who broke Naruto of his crush, "My dream for the future as to be able to tutor Aniki's children one day." That just confused the hell out of everyone who didn't know of Chamo position as head tutor. "My hobbies are getting my Aniki more partners," Kakashi, not knowing that he meant pactio partners, took the worse possible meaning for those words if the perverted giggle was any clue, "and other stuff." Now not even Naruto knew what "other stuff" was but from the creepy giggle that Chamo was giving off, he wasn't going to ask anytime soon.

When Kakashi saw that the ermine was done he called the next student, "Already pinky you're up."

"I'm Haruno Sakura. The thing I like is… Well the person I like is… Should I say my dream for the future…?" she said, emitting a girly squeal and looking at Sasuke with every pause. At this point Chamo and Naruto were making bets on whether she would quit being a ninja or get killed. "The things I dislike are Naruto and his pet weasel." Now they were making bets on how quickly she would be killed. The odds were somewhere between being murdered by her teammates during a D-rank or being murdered by an enemy ninja on a high C-rank. "And my hobby during my free time is…" Now the polls were between which teammate would try to murder her first. Naruto was leading these odds by a wide margin, even Kakashi put down a small bet during her intro.

Sasuke knew that he was the last one so he got ready to get his intro over with. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke. I dislike tons of things and don't particularly like anything. I don't have a dream but an ambition; it is to resurrect my clan and to kill a certain man." This confused Naruto and Chamo as they didn't know the full history behind the Uchiha Massacre. Sakura, completely in fan-girl mode just thought that he sounded sooooo cool and voiced her sentiments. While Kakashi knew of the history of the boy and could tell that this was going to suck royally.

Kakashi almost wanted to cry at his strange team, _"So I have an avenger, his head fan girl, and complete unknown. I really can't figure out how this could be worse. None of them seem to be completely sane. Then again, it's practically a requirement for high level ninja to be at least a little insane."_ He decided to get this over with before he was forced to kill one of them, namely the girl. "Alright guys," he was interrupted by Sakura pointed clearing her throat to hint her displeasure at being called a "guy". Too bad it went completely ignored by all in hearing distance. "Tomorrow you will have survival training against me and…" he paused for dramatic effect, "Of the 27 graduates, only 9 will be chosen as Genin. The rest will be sent back to the academy. This is a very difficult exam with a failure rate of over 66%." He finished that encouraging message off with an almost sinister cackle. "The details are on this printout and don't eat unless you want to throw up," he then disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

All three separated into their own directions. Well…Naruto and Sasuke separated into their own directions, I'll give you three guess where Sakura went. Sasuke was going to his compound to do whatever it is he does during his free time. One could always ask Sakura of they're curious. Naruto was flying back to his favorite training area where Chamo said that he would teach him to be able to channel his ki into his staff before he went to sleep. Little did he know that Chamo meant that quite literally. He learned that little fact when he finally got home mere minutes before midnight, completely exhausted. Tomorrow would be the day that team 7 would have its genin exam and Naruto and Chamo had a special surprise ready for Kakashi.

* * *

OMAKE

Naruto was pissed as he was walking to his favorite ramen bar. Not only did he get teamed up was Sakura, who's existence he just wanted to completely forget for a while, but he also was teamed up with the class showoff and eternal emo, Sasuke. Add to that the fact that his teacher showed up 2 hours late to their meeting for no good reason and you can understand why he would need to vent a little and blow off some steam. Luckily for one ramen stand owner, the best way for Naruto to blow off steam was by gorging himself on inhuman amount of ramen. He was just a couple of turns from being within seeing distance of his favorite eatery when he heard the not-so-quiet whispers.

"There he is, the demon boy."

"I can't believe that they allowed him to be a ninja?"

"We should get rid of him before he gets too powerful."

Okay, that last one was crossing the line. General hatred wasn't really anything new to him. Fear of him becoming a ninja was something that came up every year around exam times. But that last one was the straw that broke the camel's back. Without even realizing it, he spoke the word that would be repeated many times over when in the presence of those stupid villagers.

_Ardescat_

Naruto accidentally learned three things that day. The first was that after the mana control exercises he had done the week before, he didn't need the spell key to use spells but that they would be about half strength without it. The second was that the Ardescat spell would apparently keep burning until he willed it to stop or stopped feeding it mana and that he could make the flames hotter if he was really angry. The last one was the fact that mana spells didn't give off a chakra signature so when three people in the street experienced the oh-so-wonderful feeling of spontaneous combustion, the ANBU watching the scene couldn't figure out for their lives just who the hell had done it.

Naruto could now add a new hobby to his list and a new way to blow off steam. Oh the fun he would have.

* * *

Alright, not really the best ending for a chapter ever but this was just going too far and I need to get started on writing the next one and finding a beta. I use the word however waaaaay to much. Guess I'll find a thesaurus next time. Well, I'll start working on chapter 3 now.

Oh, and sorry that it took like a month to get this out but I just kept procrastinating in editing this chapter. But I finally got it out. I'll try to get these out every two weeks. One weekend to write it, another weekend to edit and proofread. YAY. Oh, and by the way, don't forget to review.


	3. The True Genin Exams

A/N

Hola. TKK here, large and in charge. So this is still my first fanfiction ever and I'm feeling pretty good about it so far. I'm sure that it will only get better as I read and write more. I am really enjoying the process of writing this too. It's weird to laugh at my own jokes as I write them, but it feels good too. So the next thing I have to do is give the declaimer.

I don't own Naruto, Mahou Sensei Negima, Rosario + Vampire, Inuyasha, Bleach, Familiar of Zero, Reborn or any other anime. If I owned any one of those I would be much richer than I am now.

HolyMage Mouto: Sorry I couldn't in the Wind Flower spell but I really don't want Naruto getting into the habit of stripping people of their clothes to win, effectually that isn't going to work and the fight is going to get really weird after that. He will learn that skill before the end of chunin exams because what better way to fight Tenten than with a spell made to disarm. Not that he will fight her any time soon. As for the summoning, while I agree it would have been hilarious, it would be too much of an "I win" button if he could summon the boss Ermine at every battle.

GoldenGod Rah: All of those were very interesting ideas that I'm thinking about using in the future. But don't worry, there will definitely be some Negima girl in this later on and they will be part of the harem later on. YAY.

Ignisha: Thanks. Ciaossu. BTW, cute baby + weird gun powers = win.

dm5elite007: I was under the impression that the academy started at 9 years old and went to 12 years old, excluding war time and super geniuses. Also, that Naruto elected to take the exam early every year because of his impatience to become Hokage. Unless this is another plot twist revealed by the manga that I'm not aware of, all of the rookie nine are pretty much the same age. And if I'm completely off base, then if people can have Naruto return to the past then I can mess with the ages.

fg7dragon: Thank you. Sakura bashing cookies for everyone.

Vandenbz: You get a Sakura bashing cookie too. As for future pactio and skills, well that's a secret.

The First Kitsukage: Your name makes me wonder if there are a 2-8. Anyway, thanks.

bankai777: That was so evil that I must use it. Thanks.

Fan of Fanfics21: Asuna = Sakura. Abrasive, loud, overly willing to cause physical harm. Yep. Nodoka = Hinata. Quiet, Shy, secret crushes on main protagonist after being rescued by them. Yep. Tenten = Setsuna, Ku Fei, or Chao. Hmm, is Tenten more similar to Setsuna, Ku Fei, or Chao? That's a good question. That's a poll good question. I've been itching to use that feature and now I have my first question. So people look on my page for the poll of "Is Tenten more similar to Setsuna, Ku Fei, or Chao?" Who knows, I might even add the winner into the harem later on. I was having trouble choosing which one to add. Let's put Kaede in there too since they are the only other female fighters in Negima.

HyuugaPrincess15: You get a Sakura bashing cookie. As for Ino? Hmm… Maybe. Just have to read to find out.

IgnisHeart: Will there even be a female Haku in this fanfic. Maybe…Maybe not. You just have to read to find out. But if I do make her female, you already know she's going to live. I have yet to find a fanfic which made Haku female only to kill her off right after. As for some of the older Konoha kunoichi? Hmm…Maybe. Just have to read to find out.

the DragonBard: Sorry but if she get to become a respectable character, I get to break her and remake her. The process should be over by the third part of the chunin exams…Maybe. But even then she has to go through hell to join the harem. Or maybe I'll give her to Lee. Decision, decision…

daydreamer727: Thanks, that really means a lot. In fact, it was your review that reminded me that I had yet to edit and post this, so everyone thanks you.

"Hello World" Speaking

"_Hello World" Thinking, flashbacks, reading, spells and jutsu_

"**Hello World" Demonic Speaking**

"_**Hello World" Demonic Thinking**_

Chapter 3

The True Genin Exams

Naruto arrived at the designated location of their genin exam two hours before hand. Chamo had decided late last night that in order to pass this test against a jonin level ninja; he would need to be able to attack with more than his _Vente _spell and a ki enhance staff and body. This would also be the first true attack spell that he ever taught Naruto and the simplest one that he could learn.

"Aniki," began Chamo already in tutor mode, "The spell that I am going to teach you is called _Sagitta Magica_. (Magical Archer) It is the simplest attack spell and at the same time, it is the most versatile. Its versatility comes from the fact that there are several different versions of this spell with several different elements. These elements are wind, lightning, light, ice, dark, fire, water, and sand. It is also one of few spells that can be delayed after chanting and released later. Since your strongest elements so far seem to be wind and light, I am going to teach you those two elements. The wind version is not used for attacking but for binding one's enemy and immobilizing them. The light version is a strait forward attack, and a single arrow is capable to breaking a rock the size of your head. I am going to show you the wind version first. It is also known as the _Sagitta Magica, Aer Capturae_ spell.Now channel mana into your staff and repeat after me. Practe Bigi Nar, septendecim spiritus aeriales, vinculum facti inimicum captent. Sagitta Magica, Aer Capturae." (Practe Bigi Nar. Seventeen spirits of the wind become a seal and bind my enemy. Magical Archer, Binding wind arrow.) Naruto nodded to show his understanding and cast the spell.

_Practe Bigi Nar, septendecim spiritus aeriales, vinculum facti inimicum captent. Sagitta Magica, Aer Capturae._

Out of his hand shot seventeen bolts of energy that immediately converged on Chamo. The attack itself was a beauty to behold. White-blue bolts of mana charged air, shimmering like sunlight off of the ocean, converged on a very surprised Chamo before tying him to the ground as if they were ropes. After seeing that he accidentally attacked his teacher, Naruto stopped pumping mana into the spell and it dissipated into shimmering sparkles. Chamo stood himself up after being released and gave Naruto a biting glare before sighing. "I guess I forgot to tell you that these spells have a homing ability that tracks the nearest source of energy. In this case, it targeted me. All that you have to do to is focus on the target that you want to attack. Remember that this is a novice level spell so don't over think things. Just focus on a target and fire." Naruto nodded before trying the spell again.

_Practe Bigi Nar, septendecim spiritus aeriales, vinculum facti inimicum captent. Sagitta Magica, Aer Capturae._

Again, seventeen beautiful arrows of wind flew at an innocent tree and wound their way around it before anchoring themselves into the grounds, as if the tree might try to get away. Naruto jumped up in joy at getting a new spell so quickly and did his own personal victory dance for a couple seconds before Chamo got him back on track to learn the other technique. "Aniki, since you managed to successfully use one technique, the rest of the _Sagitta Magica_ are cast in identical manners except for a slightly different chant. The light spell is the following: septendecim spiritus lucis, coeuntes sagitent inimicum. Sagitta Magica, Series Lucis." (Seventeen spirits of light, gather and attack the foe. Magical Archer, Barrage of Light arrows.) Naruto grabbed his staff and channeled his mana, eager to try out the new spell.

_Practe Bigi Nar, septendecim spiritus lucis, coeuntes sagitent inimicum. Sagitta Magica, Series Lucis._

This time, seventeen bolts of light fired from Naruto's palm. They all curved rather inelegantly, more reminiscent of jagged lines than a smooth arc, and slammed into the tree with surprising force. When the dust finally cleared, the tree looked more closely related to Swiss cheese than its wooden brethren. Naruto was doing back flips in joy from learning two incredible techniques. Chamo however was inspecting Naruto's work on the tree. The technique did punch seventeen holes through quite a bit of wood, but it could have been stronger. He also noticed that all the holes looked uneven as if cut out with a dented spoon. It wasn't master level, but it was at least intermediate level and that was more than he expected.

"Aniki, it's good that you are getting the spells down, but it still takes you too much time to chant them. We are going to practice chanting them until you can say both spells within ten seconds, five times in a row." Naruto reluctantly noted the truth in that statement. If he had taken as long as he did in a real battle, he could be dead several times over before he finished the spell. Taking that rather depressing fact to heart, he began chanting, and re-chanting, and re-re-chanting the spells. It was tedious and annoying work but the knowledge that it would likely save his life many times over reassured him to keep doing it with all his ability. It would be an hour and some change of constant chanting before his taskmaster of a familiar felt satisfied.

In fact, he was so satisfied that he agreed to teach our favorite blonde another spells, a defensive one this time. Luckily for him he still had more than half an hour to learn it well enough for battle. Chamo, still in tutor mode, began the lecture on the defensive spell, _Reflexio. _(Reflection)"Aniki, the _Reflexio_ spell is the easiest defensive spell there is. It is similar to the mana barrier but more focused and capable to sending elemental attacks back at their user. It generally is supposed to be a non-elemental spell but most of the time the spell takes the form of the element that the caster is strongest in. This also gives the spell a power boost. That is why I would bet that your shield will have a wind element to it. Now, try out the spell." Naruto nodded and channeled his mana into his staff.

_Practe Bigi Nar, Reflexio._

A circular disk of wind flickered to life in front of Naruto. It was practically transparent except for the stray dust that the wind had picked up. Chamo inspected the barrier and made a final decision on it. "Aniki, this is barely strong enough to stand against a D-rank fire jutsu. You don't seem to have enough control to form the required shape with your mana alone."

Chamo struck a thinking pose to find a way to remedy this problem. As far as he knew, the best ways to manipulate mana were through the control that one eventually gains though use and special artifacts that are specially created for use with one spell. Naruto watched the small ermine think for about seven minutes before Chamo's face lit up like he found the answer to world hunger. "Aniki, we can't fix your control soon enough for the spell to be battle ready before the test, but we can use your staff to physically mold the mana into the required shape. Go through the process of using the spell except this time when you channel mana into your staff, levitate it and spin it as fast as you can. The spinning motion should get you closer to the correct shape and allow you to pull off the spell much more easily. All you have to do is let the _reflexio_ spell form over the spinning staff and you should have a working barrier."

Naruto looked at Chamo strangely for a second as he tried to comprehend what Chamo wanted him to do and why it would be helpful. After a few moments the pieces seemed to fit together as he finally understood and looked at the white ermine with awe in his eyes, "Wow Chamo. That's pure genius. How did you come up with that?"

Chamo, pulling a cigarette out of who knows where, began to smoke his cancer stick in a designated "cool" way before answering, "You don't become the head tutor without having the brains, Aniki." Deciding that this was a sufficient answer to his question, Naruto recast the spell.

_Practe Bigi Nar, Reflexio._

The staff floated from Naruto's hands and mere centimeters away from his fingers began to spin until it was nothing more than a disk shaped blur. Then the blur seemed to fill itself with a light translucent blue energy and wind that Naruto assumed was his new _reflexio _spell. Chamo decided to test out the barrier with a single ice arrow and was greatly impressed that the barrier did not only stop the attack but reflected it back at Chamo's general direction as well. Chamo gave Naruto a smile filled with pride for his charge, even if it was difficult to see it on the face of an ermine, before declaring Naruto battle worthy.

Chamo apparently decided that they should rest until his teacher got there as illustrated by him going over to the Swiss cheese like tree and promptly falling asleep. Naruto decided that he hadn't been led wrong by Chamo yet, when women weren't involved, and joined his familiar and friend under the shady tree for a nice short nap. This turned out to be a wise decision considering Kakashi came 2 hours late while Sakura and Sasuke had been up waiting for him the entire time.

"YOU'RE LATE," were the words that Naruto had the pleasure of waking up to. Naruto sat up and inspected his surroundings to find a fuming Sakura, a silently scowling Sasuke, a waving Kakashi, and Chamo, who was still lying asleep in Naruto's lap. Naruto couldn't help but let a smile cross his face. For the devious little bastard that led him into the women's side of the public baths _twice_, he looked so adorable when he slept all curled up into a ball.

It was then that Naruto noticed that the others were looking at him, or rather, the tree that was doing a good impression of Swiss cheese. Sakura, Kakashi, even Sasuke looked at Naruto expectantly, waiting for an answer to how that was done to the poor tree. "Hehehe," Naruto chuckled nervously before just giving a vague answer, "training?" That seemed to satisfy Kakashi's curiosity or he understood that Naruto didn't want to tell them yet. Sakura and Sasuke however weren't convinced but luckily for Naruto, Kakashi drew their attention to him by placing an alarm clock on a training post. After seeing the alarm clock, Sakura was turning red with anger while the Uchiha's eye seemed to be twitching rather quickly.

Naruto's question of why they were reacting like this was answered when Sakura yelled, "You were two hours late and you have an alarm clock with you!" she ground out like gravel across asphalt. Naruto thought that she was going to blow a gasket, and being the supportive teammate that he was, he quickly woke up Chamo to let him see the show too. Unfortunately for Naruto and Chamo's entertainment plans, Sakura's confusion replaced her anger when Kakashi also produced two small, silver bells.

"Here are two bells," began Kakashi by stating the obvious, "Your task is to take these from me before noon. Those who can not get a bell before noon get no lunch." Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura began cursing their teacher for telling them not to eat breakfast just so that he could do this test, "Not only will I tie you to one of those stumps, but I'll eat right in front of you. You only need to get one bell. There are only two bells so one of you will definitely be tied to a stump. And the one who doesn't take a bell fails. So at least one of you will be sent back to the academy. You can use any technique you want because you won't succeed unless you come at me with the intent to kill."

Sakura looked worried for the fate of their teacher while Naruto looked a little cocky, "Ha, you got hit by two black board erasers and got your hair lit on fire. We'll definitely win."

That statement irritated Kakashi a little because he still couldn't figure out how the Uchiha lit his hair on fire without him noticing and he had become the joke of the jonin because of it. Damn Guy and his big mouth, he couldn't even figure out why he told him in the first place. So in retribution, he decided to annoy Naruto back, "In the real world, those with no talent often bark the loudest. Let's just ignore Mr. Dead Last and begin when I say…"

That was as far as Kakashi got into his introduction when Naruto grabbed his staff and channeled as much ki into the end as he could. This earned a what-the-hell look from Sasuke and Sakura who had never noticed the staff on Naruto's back. That is because one of the many charms on the staff is the suggestion to ignore its presence. It is very powerful and nearly infallible unless attention is drawn to it by wielding it as a weapon or if a person already knows it's there. Kakashi was surprised to see the golden glow on the end before Naruto used an overhead swing to bring it down towards him, who was still nearly fifteen feet away. He was about to suggest that Naruto get glasses until his danger sense screamed at him to get the hell out of the way. Any experienced jonin can tell you that the danger sense that one acquires after a certain point is a ninja's best friend and is always to be obeyed no matter what your other senses are telling you. So Kakashi lazily jumped a short distance to the right and nearly gaped at the fist sized hole in the stump that would have been his head.

Kakashi looked back at Naruto, who also had the eyes of Sakura and Sasuke on him. He was giving the biggest most innocent smile that could only appear on the face of a cherub. Chamo was on Naruto shoulder, mirroring his actions with the infamous puppy dog eyes-ermine version. A large sweat drop materialized on the side of Kakashi's head, _"Well at least he has the intent to kill part down." _"Well it seems that you're ready to come at me with the intent to kill. I guess that means that you've finally acknowledged me," he said with that strange cyclopean grin and laugh, "It seems that I'm beginning to like you guys." He walked until be was about ten paces in front of his team and continued, "Okay, lets get going. Ready… START!"

Moments later, Sakura and Sasuke had hidden themselves in the trees while Naruto was still standing in front of Kakashi. "Um, you're supposed to hide you know," said a mildly confused and embarrassed Kakashi. _"This is the punk that nearly killed me just minutes ago?" _

Naruto just shrugged in response, "If I really wanted to kill you I would just spam the entire forest with shadow clones and have them attack you at long range until they finally hit you. You already saw one my attacks, imagine fifty of me launching those things at you." Kakashi paled a little behind his mask because he couldn't see the attack or sense any chakra behind it. He was still a jonin and knew that he would be able to get away, but it wouldn't be without a scratch and it would almost certainly require his sharingan. Kakashi had to admit that he was lucky that the blond wasn't using that tactic. Not only would it make the next two hours the so annoying that he would rather hang out with Guy, but it would make the test nearly useless since his teammates wouldn't be able to enter the area without getting caught in the crossfire.

With an indifferent shrug that belied his thoughts, Kakashi reached into a pouch on his ninja belt and pulled out his favorite orange book. Naruto actually sweat dropped at this new development. "Ano…Why do you have a book? And why are you reading it during a fight?"

"Why? Well because I want to read what happens next. Don't worry about it; it won't make a difference against you guys," he said while turning to a new page.

Naruto looked back at his supposed sensei with a deadpan expression, "You know you're going to regret that right?" Upon seeing Kakashi's uninterested glance, Naruto decided that it was his decision to not take him seriously, "Don't say I didn't warn you," he exclaimed as he charged at Kakashi with a ki enhanced punch that was lazily blocked.

The next words that went through Kakashi's mind were, "BIG MISTAKE!" Kakashi could actually feel the bones rattling like a shaker in his hand. It took nearly everything in him not to show that the attack had been as painful as it was. Keeping up his jonin level coolness, he simply decided to dodge everything from now on. And dodge he did. Easily ducking under a roundhouse kick and stepping behind Naruto when he tried a wild haymaker. Kakashi made the hand seal for tiger around his book and prepared his attack while Naruto was still wondering where the hell Kakashi had disappeared to.

Then he heard Chamo to his right screaming, "Aniki, get out of there."

Kakashi gave a dark chuckle as he said in a sing-song voice, "Too late," he then proceeded to scream, "_Hidden Leaf Ancient Taijutus Supreme Technique: 1000 Years of Pain." _With that stated, Kakashi rammed his fingers right into Naruto's arse and launched him high into the air where he quickly dissipated into smoke." _"Huh, so he was just a clone, impressive. Though I wonder where the original got off to."_

Naruto was hiding behind a tree, thanking and mentally promising Chamo his favorite meal of…whatever ermines eat. He was just about to jump to the top of the trees when he was overcome with the feeling of being _violated_. He checked himself to make sure that he had successfully gotten away. Kage bushin plus kawarimi was a success so he had gotten away without damage. That made him ask why did he still feel like he could remember being in the clone's place. Then a thought hit him. He remembered it as if he were the clone so what if it wasn't his memories but the clone's memories. This warranted further study later on but for now, he still needed to pass this damn test.

Naruto jumped up into the canopy of the small forest and created nearly a hundred clones. They all immediately leaped away to initiate Naruto's master plan. When Naruto thought that his clones were sufficiently separated, he raised his staff and all of his clones followed suit. Their staffs began to glow a golden color and the original Naruto called out the attack. _Kaze: sutoraiku. _(Wind: strike)As one, the clones and the original swung their staffs and launched a volley of ki missiles at their jonin sensei. Kakashi decided that now was a good time to get the hell out of the way and jumped from the middle of the clearing into the tree line. What happened at Kakashi's previous location could only me equated as ten exploding tag going off at the same time. Kakashi's mask was the only thing keeping his jaw off the ground when he saw the results. _"Is that boy really trying to kill me?"_

From Naruto's position he knew that Kakashi had gotten away just as he expected him to. Although he did admit that last combo might have been a little much. He commanded his clones to search for Kakashi while he jumped out of the trees to find his ermine companion that he'd lost in the fray.

It was as he was jumping that he came across a small silver bell on the ground. Naruto wasn't sure whether to be happy or insulted that Kakashi thought that he would fall for such a simple trap. He decided to take advantage of the opportunity and simply have his clones trip the trap for him. He made six shadow clones and told them to retrieve the bell. The first and second ones got strung up like pigs and dispelled but the third managed to grab the bell without molestation from traps. It seemed like a waste to just dispel the other clones and he still wasn't sure if the bell was booby trapped so he commanded the last three clones to protect the bell bearing clone. The three clones surrounded the assigned bell bearer in a triangle pattern before activating their mana barriers at full power and spinning their staffs for a _reflexio _spell to defend from all three sides while the middle clone prepared a _Sagitta Magica, Aer Capturae_ spell. Seventeen balls of sky blue and white circled around the clone, ready to fire at will and capture any enemy.

Naruto commanded the clones to take to the sky on their staffs, securing their catch in the process before he leapt away to find his familiar. Kakashi came out of a group of bushes and scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Well…that was a stupid way to lose a bell. I didn't think he would be able to fly though. I really have to start using my sharingan around him; he has a lot of interesting skills," Kakashi said to himself as an afterthought. He then was forced to use kawarimi to avoid the barrage of kunai and shuriken that Sasuke had just thrown at him.

Sasuke was leaping away as quickly as he could while still maintaining stealth. However, he did not notice that he had passed under a hidden Naruto clone that was henged into a rock. Said rock quickly disappeared and sent its memories to the original. Naruto, the original, was running in a random direction when he got the memories of his clone. A wicked grin crossed his face as his experiment was a success and the usefulness of shadow clones had just increased three fold. He then got the memories of a clone that had spotted Chamo stalking Sakura. He ran in her direction and got there just in time to catch the full blast of Sakura screaming her head off before fainting. Naruto looked at the girl just shaking his head. "Either the genjutsu that Kakashi used on her was incredibly powerful and sadistic, or she's just pathetic."

Chamo must him heard him because after he said that, he responded with, "I think it's the second option Aniki." The small ermine then turned around after realizing that he was speaking to the one person he was looking for. "Aniki, where have you been? I was looking all over for you and then I saw your sensei following this girl and decided to see what she can do. From what I saw, it's not much." Naruto nodded and smiled as he found his best friend before offering a hand so Chamo could climb onto his favorite perch, Naruto's shoulder.

"I managed to get my hands on a bell and had some clones take it up into the sky where it'll be safe. Right now I'm trying to enlist some help in order to actually pass this test. You are the one who told me yesterday that the genin exam is always about teamwork so I have to get their help if I want Kakashi to actually pass us, right?" Naruto then created some shadow clones and told them to carry Sakura while they traveled to where he knew Sasuke was buried.

It was a short walk back to the clearing where he managed to get a bell. Sasuke was currently neck deep in dirt after a failed attempt to beat a jonin into submission. A very, _very_ stupid attempt. Sasuke glared up at the blond that was now standing over him with an amused smirk. "What the hell do you want dobe?"

"I want to get your help so we can pass this damn exam. You and I both know that one on one; we will get creamed by Kakashi. But if we were to double team him, my long range abilities with your superior taijutsu, we might be able to get a bell from him."

Sasuke couldn't ignore the logic in that statement, especially since he had already tried to do it alone and had his butt handed to him on a silver platter. It's hard to be arrogant when you're nothing but a head in the ground. But this still left some questions unanswered. "Why would you try to help me when I saw you get a bell already?"

"The bell that I got was a fake. My clones came back later and told me that it shocked the one that was carrying it and dispelled it." The information wasn't a lie because it actually happened. Naruto was never so glad for being so paranoid.

"Okay that answers that question," he said still a little reluctant to accept the blonde's help incase of treachery, "Which one of us doesn't get a bell if we get them." The answer he got was a pointed look at the still dozing Sakura, "Okay, then what do we do when she finds out that she will be the one to go back."

Naruto had to think about that one a bit, "She won't do anything against you because she is your head fan girl so she will try to demand it from me and when I don't give it up she was try to attack me but I can easily overpower her," then Naruto got a devious smirk, "Unless you want to be on a team alone with Sakura. Who knows what she might do when you two are out all by yourselves on missions." The paling of Sasuke's face was enough of an answer for him. "In fact, I'll give up my bell to her willingly if she asks politely instead of demanding it from me," he said contemplatively.

Sasuke had one last question before agreeing to help out Naruto. "Where did you get all of those abilities and could you teach me?" He asked as he saw it as the exact kind of power that he could use to defeat his brother. It was at that moment that Sakura decided to wake up. She sat up and saw Sasuke up to his chin in dirt. Sasuke blinked…she fainted.

Naruto shook his head at the uselessness of the girl before he blanched when he remembered the requirement of teaching another person that isn't an Uzumaki his abilities, a requirement that he was never going to fulfill with Sasuke or any other male for that matter. (Not that you pervs) "I won't tell you the secret behind my techniques but know that I can't teach it to you." He wasn't going to risk telling Sasuke how to use his techniques because he didn't know exactly how motivated Sasuke was to get stronger. It seemed that Sasuke understood that the ninja world is full of secrets and didn't push it any further.

With Chamo's help and a little ki, Naruto quickly dug Sasuke out of the hole then went to Sakura to wake her up. Unfortunately, that was when the bell decided to ring. The string of curses out of Naruto's mouth is too vivid to be put into a story of this rating. Sasuke was none too please either and Sakura was still unconscious. "Sasuke, I know that we failed but did she do anything useful during this entire test. In face, did she even fight Kakashi?"

"Well…no. But has your ferret…"

"I'm an ermine, not a ferret."

"Has your ermine done anything useful during this time either?" said Sasuke, trying to defend the unconscious girl who even he believed to be useless.

"Hey, I've done plenty. I saved Aniki from that super butt poke of death and I've been dispelling Kakashi's clones that he was leaving around the forest. I took care of the distractions so that you two could handle the real thing. That girl just happened to go to the next clone I was planning on dispelling."

Naruto was laughing like a maniac, "An ermine is more useful than Sakura. That is just pathetic. The only way this could get better is if Sakura was somehow tied up."

Ten minutes later

Sasuke and Naruto were leaning against two of the post. Sasuke was looking as cool as humanly possible and Naruto had the biggest shit eating grin on his lips. Tied to the middle post, still unconscious, was Sakura. Kakashi used a weak water jutsu to bring her back to the land of the living. "Huh, what, who? She sputtered as she figured out where she was, "Why am I the one tied up?"

Her question went ignored as Kakashi began speaking to the team. "Oh…you guys look really hungry." The glares he received could have melt lead. "Well, since none of you managed to get a bell, all of you get to go back to the academy." Sasuke gave Kakashi a dark glare while Sakura looked fearful and Naruto was talking with Chamo about how life would be like in the desert. Kakashi gave them all that strange eye smile before continuing, "But I'll you one more chance. However, you need to know that after lunch, I will make it much more difficult to get a bell. Now Naruto and Sasuke can eat lunch but you can't give any to Sakura."

"What! WHY?" was the response from the rosette girl.

"It's punishment for being the most useless in the group. Now if anyone gives her any food, they will immediately fail. I am the rules here, got it? he said while giving them a frightening glare considering he only had one eye showing.

With that said, Kakashi left them to do…whatever. Naruto and Sasuke were silently eating while thinking of what to do for their next try when Sakura's stomach made a rather embarrassing growl. "Don't worry about me Sasuke-kun, I'm not hungry at all," she said to try and disguise her hunger but both Naruto and Sasuke knew that she was starving. Sasuke offered his lunch with one hand with Naruto soon following. She looked at her two teammates, "Why are you doing this, you know that you'll fail if he sees us?" she asked with worry leaking into her voice.

"Don't worry about that, I don't sense him anywhere near here. After the bells, we need to work together to have a chance to take down Kakashi and get the bells. If you're starving while we are fighting, you'll just be in the way. So go ahead and eat," stated the last Uchiha as he held out the food for Sakura.

Naruto had a small smile on his face at this point, "Yeah, while you aren't really cut out for combat like me and Sasuke, you are the smartest one of us here and we could really use your plans. But you won't be able to do your best if you are distracted by your own growling stomach. So yeah…take my lunch too," he then took out a little with his chopsticks to help her eat.

Sakura was about to take her first bite when a giant explosion of smoke appeared in front of them. Kakashi flew out of the smoke looking every bit like a demon as he dashed up to his students yelling in an angry voice, "YOU GUYS…" Sakura was fearful again while Sasuke and Naruto were getting ready for a fight, "…pass." Confused looks all around, Kakashi saw that he would have to explain it to them. "You guys are the first to pass my exam. Everyone else just did whatever I told them and they were all just morons. There two rules of ninja in my book. A ninja must see underneath the underneath. And that those who break the rules and codes of the ninja world are scum, but those abandon their comrades are worse than scum." Kakashi looked up into the sky as if remembering a day he would rather forget but couldn't. He then looked at his students with his patented eye smile and said, "All of you pass. Starting tomorrow, Team 7 will begin their ninja missions."

"Hey guys, let's have a victory party at Ichiraku's on me," scream a far too excited Naruto as he bound forward. Kakashi agreed because it was a good chance for free food while Sasuke decided that he didn't have anything better to do.

Neither of them heard the voice of Sakura behind them, "Hey guys. You forgot to get me. I want to eat too. SASUKE-KUN."

Omake

Sasuke and Naruto were leaning against two of the post. Sasuke was looking as cool as humanly possible and Naruto had the biggest shit eating grin on his lips. Tied to the middle post, still unconscious, was Sakura. Kakashi used a weak water jutsu to bring her back to the land of the living. "Huh, what, who? She sputtered as she figured out where she was, "Why am I the one tied up?"

Naruto looked at her as if she asked the dumbest question possible. "Sakura, can you name one useful thing that you did during this test?" He waited for a response but knew that she didn't have one. "Can you at least name a time that you attacked Kakashi?" She again tried to think of one but knew that falling to his genjutsu would not count as a fight. "Can you list how many jutsu you know that aren't taught in the academy?" Sakura tried again to answer but knew that there was not answer. "Sakura, you are completely useless. I fought Kakashi hand to hand and bombarded him from afar, then stepped around a trap; found you passed out on the ground and dragged you here after finding and teaming up with Sasuke. Sasuke attacked Kakashi with shuriken and kunai from far away before fighting him hand to hand and even managed to touch the bells. Even Chamo went around dispelling some of Kakashi's traps, saved me from Kakashi's perverted attack, and was the first one to find you. Out of all the people on Team 7, including my pet ermine, you are the weakest and most useless."

Sakura turned her head to Sasuke to dispel Naruto's claims, "Sasuke-kun, you don't thing that I am useless do you?"

"…" Sasuke was silent

"Kakashi-sensei, you don't think that I am useless and weak do you?"

"…" Kakashi was silent.

"Come one guys, you don't really think that an animal is more powerful and useful than me, right?"

"Damn strait," was the only response she got, and it came from said animal.

Woo, I finally finished this. And on Halloween. Sorry I don't have a Halloween Omake but I finally got around to editing this. So yeah, remember when I said this would be out in two weeks, kind of ended up being closer to two months. What can I say, school, looking for colleges, all that stuff really takes up time. But I can definitely guarantee that the next chapter will be out before Christmas. Although I am trying for before Thanksgiving.

If you didn't already know because you're one of those people who don't read the top comments (I know who you are) then there is to be a poll shortly after posting. The question is Is Tenten more similar to Setsuna, Ku Fei, or Chao? This question was given by Fan of Fanfics21. I'm also adding Kaede to the list so that it gets all the girls that are warriors in the show. Please give your answer on the poll that should be on my profile page shortly after posting this.

Not much else to say so, See ya.

Oh, one more thing. Angelson1992, my friend that helped me start writing fanfiction, has given me permission to adopt his crack fic, 30 Days to Kill. So if you've ever heard of it and want it to continue, or maybe just like nonsense with splashes of overpowered Naruto and citrus, you'll enjoy this. First chapter begins posting soon I will change a few things though.


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